Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
