i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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