I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
