I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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