last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
