i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
