If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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