And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
