There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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