Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
