Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
