Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
