we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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