He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
