Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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