I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
