You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
