Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
