My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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