There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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