He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
