Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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