we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
