You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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