I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
