Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
