my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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