Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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