never play flip cup with pint glasses
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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