Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
