My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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