is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
