Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
