I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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