Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
