So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We need to get me chipped asap
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
