Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
