We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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