Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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