You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
