do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
