NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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