I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
