Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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