ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Houston, we have a blender
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
