Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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