I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
