i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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