If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
