new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
