i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
