She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
