Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Alive.
So much puke
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
