I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
