we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
