CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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