I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
