I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
